Character development is mostly limited to ham-handed emotional pulls that are specifically and shallowly designed to tug at your heartstrings and/or cussing a lot. Whatever moral ambiguity exists is clear-cut, unchallenging, unintelligent and not very interesting. It doesn’t really push a lot of boundaries. Gears of War doesn’t really do anything exciting.
The main thrust of the story is: “They bad. I’m leaving out a few details, but honestly, not a lot. Two games later, Imulsion has poisoned the land and is creating things called Lambent, which are more hulking manly-men, but they glow a bright sparkly yellow, so you know they’re extra bad and also a hit at 8-year-old girls’ birthday parties. With humanity vastly diminished, the COG was ill-prepared for the attacks of the subterranean horrors known as the Locust: hulking, testosterone-laden manly men (except scaly manly-man with extra deep voices, so you know they’re bad) who burst out of the earth and shoot a bunch of people. Get it?) has spent most of its short existence battling over the energy-rich subterranean source of power known as Imulsion. On the earth-like Planet of Sera, the Coalition of Ordered Governments (COG. Īnd yet, no one ever really touts the story.Īs a primer: Gears of War is a story about…Gears…in war. The semi-flagship series for the Xbox 360, the Gears franchise has been running for a few years and has come out with some games that are widely acclaimed for their brutal, gritty style, square-jawed manly man protagonists who excrete testosterone from every unshaven pore and, most importantly, their revolutionary impact on the shooter genre by doing for cover-shooters what Steve Jobs did for computers (made it accessible and fun and caused a lot of people to go into angry fits because that jerk, Steve, in the dorm room across the hall thought they were cool now). If you are even remotely aware of video games, you have probably heard of Gears of War. So, let’s have a chat about Gears of War 3. But in this particular case, I kind of wanted to talk about it while it was still at least somewhat hot. I don’t really feel qualified on talking about a lot of things other than story and how it appeals to me, especially when others can do it a bit better than I can. I think it’s been ages since I last did a review of any sort of video game and for good reason. This particular blog post is not going to be about winning, but rather about video games. If you’re just hungry for a pair of signed copies of Tome of the Undergates and Black Halo, you might do your best to shoot me a good reason/bribe why you should get one before the next blog post. So, I’m tallying the final votes for this here giveaway.
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